Expressive Art Therapies

 "There are numerous references within medicine, anthropology, and the arts to the earliest healing applications of expressive modalities. For example, the Egyptians are reported to have encouraged people with mental illness to engage in artistic activity (Fleshman & Fryrear, 1981); the Greeks used drama and music for its reparative properties (Gladding, 1992); and the story of King Saul in the Bible describes music’s calming attributes. Later, in Europe during the Renaissance, English physician and writer Robert Burton theorized that imagination played a role in health and well-being, while Italian philosopher de Feltre proposed that dance and play were central to children’s healthy growth and development (Coughlin, 1990)" - Cathy A. Malchoidi

    It seems as though, without even meaning to, our species has found art, music, drama, and dance as ways to communicate feelings for which we had no real words or no words of our own to present. Before we knew it was therapeutic, we knew that it made things feel better. It relieved some of the pressure we felt inside. It made us into better people. 

    I still find myself referring (at least mentally) to the Serious Work of Play daily. - To the "excuse" to be creative in a world which continues to think of art, music, writing, drama, dance, and more... as childish. I, myself, balked at the idea of my oldest child being an art major. Not because he's not a great artist: he is. But because my brain echoes the sentiments of the adults who told me as a child that it's no way to make a living or to be successful. But what about the healing qualities of art? For the artist and for those experiencing it? I find myself still concerned for his financial future, but as I shift into this new mode of thinking, I also find myself appreciating that he is one of those who has such a drive to create that nothing seems to stop him.

    As a young person, I found so much meaning in music, drama, and dance. I played piano for years and even found spaces in which I was paid to do so. I took acting classes and found myself directing plays and participating on the board of a community theatre, enjoying stepping out of myself for a period each day. I danced: tap, jazz, ballet, and belly, because the movement was so freeing. Somewhere along the way, these things became uncomfortable for me. Still, I feel like that discomfort was a return to myself and that the activities that I took such enjoyment in were actually me pushing myself to become more than this body that tends to be so rigid in form and often thinking.

    In class, I was only present for one of three activities so I can only really speak to that one: mirroring one another's movements. Like interpretive dance, we were supposed to come up with a motion that communicated our feelings and I found it uncomfortable. What were my feelings? Not positive and I didn't want to share that but I also don't believe in being false in these settings. I trudged in front of my mirroring human. Stooped back, slow overpronounced steps: I was tired and did not want to continue moving anymore that day. Then we were supposed to choose a movement that demonstrated how we would like to feel and I did what I call the Little Kid Happy Dance... Disco fingers and hip wiggles... Only to discover that no one else did this thing that I had always done and had taught to my kids and I felt... called out? I felt like a weirdo.

    I think I have a difficult time responding to my emotions in a more public setting. Revealing any part of myself to people that I do not absolutely trust has proven difficult. - Facts are fine. You can ask me anything and I will generally respond without any real boundaries. But emotions and feelings? I'm not even comfortable with expressing the happy ones generally speaking and I really can't explain why. My husband says I never smile or laugh though I could swear I do. I rarely cry and I try not to become angry though I've had a lot of days where anger has happened recently. But I digress: expression was initially very difficult for me and has become again in the years of no dance/music/drama (at least publicly: I still enjoy these things on my own.) Is it like riding a bike? Could I express myself freely again in open spaces? Maybe. But maybe I also related to these expressive activities as being someone else's feelings. I didn't write the play. I didn't choreograph the dances. And I didn't compose the music. 

    I don't recall what the second activity would have been but the third was a "jam session" with the instruments my classmates brought and honestly, I was not sad at missing it. I feel self-conscious thinking about it and I feel as though creating music like that would have felt too personal. But I do find myself in this weird space right now anyhow, when I need to work with a classmate who I do not know well or at all, that I anticipate... backlash maybe? Criticism? A negative or hurtful experience? And it never is. I don't know what anyone thinks of me, not really, but I find that I am always hesitant to approach these moments because I anticipate it to be somehow painful or disappointing... No matter that it never is.

    In any event, I do think that these expressive arts can be useful to people who feel called to them. I am uncomfortable in my body and in social settings so I feel that it limits me in these terms. - Much more so than the art that we explored in previous weeks. - Those things that are not group activities, that allow me to explore my emotions and my relationships while still choosing what or how much I want to share with others.

    I've been thinking a lot lately about art and play therapy for adults and what it might do for someone like me to have a safe space to explore those kinds of things.